day 10

this is me, that is not.

I’ve already forgot what I was intended to say a few seconds ago.

most likely something moody or sentimental.

rain drops are tic-tac-ing outside; some car just went by.

I’m not sure what I should’ve done, but I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t have any similar feeling as I do toward her.

so, it’s better that I didn’t do anything further.

yet I can not stop thinking of it, what if, what if, and so on.

a bottle of jinro, an access to smoke, a few of her pictures, I do not know what I should do.

actually nothing. I can do nothing about it. they are leaving. she’s leaving.

I didn’t feel anything that she’s fond of me in anyway.

too bad, well, for me.

sometimes even you knew it’s like that but when it eventually really happens, it’s somehow still quite difficult to take with easeness.

I gaze at pictures of her that I took, questioning myself if I missed something so important….. but you know what? it doesn’t matter. and I don’t think that I’m gonna know the truth.

truth. what is that?

all is in my head, dwelling with full of imagination and desire; you wanna bear a hope, you’re gonna be ready to take the despair.

music: Mélanie Laurent, En t’attendant.